106: Ko'olauloa

Note: Dialogue in "quotes" are real. Anything else is made-up.

Finally catching up on these recaps! Before we start, you might've heard that the original Danno has died. News has it that he had been slated for a guest appearance on the Hawaii Five-O series remake, which would have been fun to see.

Now, on to our weekly dose of Hawaii!

Scene opens with surfing competition! And Kono's in it! Along with Ian, her former sponsor, father figure, and head of the Coral Prince surf brand company. Also? Hercules is the announcer. I'm more of an Iolaus girl, myself. Well, before he died and came back to life and was evil and all that. That storyline never made sense to me.

Anyway, Ian busts out terribly near the end of a good wave. Yikes. But wait! Good news: his age had nothing to do with it, he still had the moves. Bad news: it was 'cause somebody shot him mid-wave, and now he's dead. Well, dang.

Pause as we dance to the opening theme and credits. Da-da-da-daaaa-daaaa!

Resume scene. Five-O team converge at the beach, where even in all that bright and sandy goodness, Danno's still in shirtsleeves and tie. You'd think he'd learn from the sand in his socks. Kono is pretty devastated by Ian's death but carries on. Meanwhile, the setting in this series is really gorgeous and I'm glad the producers made it one of the "supporting characters" in this show.

Guys, maybe we should wear light colours in the sun. Also, still pimping out that cane.

Hey, did you know Kelly has an official title now? Stevie has his own due to his being a naval commander, and Danno and Kono have their cop titles. Kelly, who as you recall left the force due to an unjustly tainted rep, introduces himself here as "Investigator General Kelly." Sweet!

 

Daniel Dae Kim's cheekbones could cut through glass.

Kono talks to Hercules (sorry, I'm just going to refer to him as that from now on), who was Ian's long-time friend and business partner. Just on account of him not appearing particularly torn up about the death -- and also 'cause, y' know, he's Hercules -- I'm going to say he'll be on the suspects list pretty soon. Ben, his son and Kono's childhood pal, isn't around as he's currently not speaking to his dad. You know how kids are.

Back at HQ, the guys suggest Kono skip this case. She is emotionally involved, after all. I'll be the first to say that I know I come down pretty hard on Kono sometimes -- she's the only girl, she's the youngest, and she's fresh out of the academy so she's the most inexperienced. It's a fine line for both the writers and actors to make sure that they portray the team relationships right, so that they can feel affectionate and protective but not patronizing.

So whenever I come across these tricky scenes, I think of it in terms of "if this were Stevie/Danno/Kelly/a young male recruit they're talking to right now, would this be the right thing for them to say?" In the scene at the end of ep 2, Stevie's words really weren't. As an equal member of the team, there shouldn't have been need to apologise for having her do her job. In this current ep's scene, though, they know how hard it's hit Kono, and I think their response and how the actors portrayed it hit the mark.

So the team (minus Kono) figure out where the shooter had been aiming from, and considering the location doesn't have any roads, you know what this means. Stevie and Kelly, black gloves, on bikes. I'm happy now.

I will say, though, that Alex O'Loughlin? You should probably pull back on that grimace. Whipping out that unhappy expression while zooming on a bright red bike is a tad jarring.

In a way, I'm kinda glad Danno's pimping that cane. One of my concerns at the start of this series was that all the action scenes would belong to Stevie and Danno, and that the other two co-stars would get short shrift and tossed to the side. Whether or not the writers intended Daniel Dae Kim to always have more action scenes or if it was a result of Steve Caan being laid up, I'm glad Kelly's getting more face time. Also makes more sense, since he and Stevie appear the more active and island-savvy of the guys, compared to Danno's background. Kono's still on the side, though, so we'll see how the rest of the season pans out.

Speaking of which, let's go back to HQ for a mo', shall we?

Time for a pep-talk!

I have a question. In terms of Danno and Kono being on the team, do they still have their regular cop jobs that they have to clock in to? I don't imagine Hawaii is that rife with high-priority crimes that the Five-O team has to constantly be on their toes. Plus Danno and Kono had their own cop thing to begin with before Stevie came along and recruited them. I had kinda pictured this as being a moonlighting job, the way some police officers do double-duty as security consultants on their own time. But from what it looks like here, these two don't have to go to the station or complete any assignments or paperwork for the Honolulu PD. So, I don't know, are their police careers on hold while they're on Five-O?

Anyway, Danno and Kono have a brief heart-to-heart, and Kono is determined to do something. She finds Ben-son-of-Hercules who, as it turns out, lives just right around the corner of the island. He's an environmentalist who really doesn't like his dad or Ian or Coral Prince and is all jaded with corporations and stuff. You know how kids are.

Rest of the team discover the shooting location is on kapu land, which means that there is all that unofficial-island-protector-bodyguard thing involved. Poor Danno feels so rejected on finding out that they're supposedly protecting the island from outsiders like him. Is it any wonder that he hates Hawaii and wants to go home? Everybody go "awww." Still, the amused looks Kelly and Stevie exchanged really tickled me.

By the way, HQ is getting even more furnished with each ep! Go HQ!

Tables and chairs and a lamp, oh my!

I know I've been mentioning the increase in furnishings for a few eps now, but I feel it is a very lovely and important thing to note. A lot of shows will start off with characters moving into a new space, then the very next ep it'll be fully furnished with everything in its place right until the end of the season (usually two, even. See Leverage). I don't know about you, but whenever I move, it takes me a while to settle in and get exactly what I want and to have everything just so. So this progressive furnishing-in-progress? I approve.

Anyway, they narrow down the shooting suspect to two kapu members, but Stevie doesn't want to just go in and pull 'em in for questioning, because that would be disrespectful to the main kapu chief. Soooooo. . . .

Pause for a moment while I say that just once during these transition montages, I'd like there to be some average-sized tourists, possibly loud and noisy families, walking around in T-shirts. Keepin' it real, folks.

Stevie and Danno are off to meet kapu chief, and here is a great example of their big bro/li'l bro relationship that made me laugh:

Danno: "Can I ask what we're doing here?"
Stevie: "I swear to God, Danny, you ask me that again I'm gonna shoot you."

They are adorable. Also:

Stevie: "It's not a detour, it's a strategic op."
Danno: "A strategic op? . . . You know, what I love most is how you were able to say that with a straight face."

What especially cracked me up was when Stevie, naval guy who grew up in Hawaii, explains to Danno, Jersey guy and haole, that seeing the chief is a necessity. You can't just march up to his crew and yank two of his men, there is a right way and a wrong way to do things on this island.

Danno: "So what's throwing somebody in a shark tank and then hanging another guy off a roof?"
Stevie: ". . . All those guys were from out of town."

Ha! I love you guys. THIS much.

Even more so for Stevie's excellent pause before his well-framed answer.

Right, so they meet with chief. Danno's eyeing a Blue Hawaiian, which is a drink, not a Smurf, in case you were wondering. You know, throughout this whole series so far, Stevie has been pretty loose with popping him and Danno a beer while they're working cases, so Danno, in case you haven't been paying attention, I'm pretty sure you're in the clear.

Let's skip ahead with the whole meeting. Chief promises to deliver the two suspects who are no longer part of the kapu crew, skip skip skip. Kono visits Ben's digs, which is basically among a whole community of tent-people living on the beach. You know how astronomical housing costs can be in Hawaii. I suppose they don't have to worry about freezing to death out in the open. How about monsoon season, though? Skip skip skip. Stevie mentions "island time" which cracks me up, because my friends and I, with all our various backgrounds and nationalities, we can attest to this and what's more, we can tell you just how much Malaysian time differs from Vancouver time differs from African time. Skip skip skip, poor Danno's always going to be ripped on for being haole. And for having a blue tongue.

This is what happens when you French-kiss a Smurf drink a blue cocktail.

Two ex-kapu suspects are delivered. Two ex-kapu suspects are cleared. Skip skip skip to night-time where Kono and Ben share a kiss before being interrupted by some terrorizing vandals on bikes. They don't like tents bringing property values down, y' know. Kono lands a great roundhouse kick, and Ben fires a warning shot to scare those jerks away. With a really suspicious-looking gun. Whoops.

So Ben's a suspect since he (a) has aforementioned really suspicious-looking gun, (b) doesn't want the land to be bought over by Ian's corporations, and (c) was recently named sole beneficiary to Ian before the latter's death. Ben's feathers are seriously ruffled over the questions, but dude, c'mon. They have to do a background check on you. It's called process of elimination. You can't expect to be excluded from this just by way of appearing trustworthy or having an inside pal, because then Kono would have to explain to her superiors why she didn't fully do her job. It's called chain of command. So dude, chill. Also, Kono, go you for being professional.

But hey, guess what? Turns out those terrorizing vandals on bikes? Yup, the two previously-cleared ex-kapu guys. Cue car chase! Danno's hanging on to the handle like my mum used to do everytime I took over the wheel.

Danno: "No, I'm not scared, I'm rationally concerned!"

You know what I love? Stevie's slick silver ride gets all spattered and dirty from driving on the dirt roads. It's the little details that please me so.

So they catch the two guys, one of whom was the one Kono roundhouse'd last night, so go Kono again. They're huge and tough and tattooed and unafraid, but you know who has the power to make them quail? That's right, the chief, that's who.

You kids're gonna be in SO much trouble when we get home.

 Bad boys! Time out for you! They hang heads dutifully and spill the beans. Man, don't you wish you had a chief you could call when suspects get tight-lipped?

Turns out that a hitman hired the two baddies to scare off the tent folks. They'd also shown him the cliff where he could shoot from. But wait, it can't just be some random hitman to wrap up this ep, can it? Turns out he's Hercules's driver. Aha! See, toldja that guy was involved. Apparently Hercules found out that Ian was Ben's real father, and that Ian was gonna give the land (along with everything else) to Ben, and, well, let's just face it, he's Hercules, after all. You can't do all that to a demigod without him getting pretty mad and vengeful about it.

Will Zeus still visit me in prison?

Hercules goes down! Stevie tells Kono "book 'im," to which Danno gives a fervent "thank you." Cue more adorability: "Y' know, when I say 'book 'im, Danno,' it's a term of endearment." This earned a loud bark of laughter from me. Awww, you guys.

Show concludes with a lovely memorial ceremony for Ian. Kono, why did you have to ruin it for apologizing to Ben for doing your job? Even Ben agreed it was what you had to do. Let's move on. I don't know if it's still legal to scatter ashes into the ocean this close to shore, but hey, we'll let them have this one. It's such a pretty setting, and the ceremony was lovely.

Fantastically funny episode, this one! Thumb's up!