103: Malama Ka Aina

Note: Dialogue in "quotes" are real. Anything else is made-up.

A brief moment, if I may, while I share a CBS promo image of Hawaii Five-O:

Hopefully they were rewarded with some nice toasty marshmallows for this shoot.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, this one certainly needs no explanation as to how it represents the show's appeal so well. It manages to both make the viewer giggle madly and then make them say, "Hey, let's have another serving of that!"

Onwards to episode 3! Word is that this ep was actually supposed to be ep #2, but that CBS decided to switch it with "Ohana," the original ep #3. I think that was a smart move; you want to be able to retain your viewers once you've reined them in, and both the pilot and "Ohana" had the same energy of high fun and action. This ep, on the other hand, had a more serious note, and I think it might've thrown new viewers off if it had ended up as the second ep instead.

Scene opens with a football game at the fictitious Kukui High School (now an online presence), where the whole Five-O team have gathered to cheer on the team. One might've expected them to prefer to spend their days off not with each other, just to keep some personal space, but y' know, to each their own. At least it's a chance to see them cheerful and chilling out between days of chasing criminals and bonding-not-bonding in cars.

Danno's brought his little girl Grace along, and while getting her some snacks, he spots some unsavoury characters ready to pop them guns. Like the good dad he is, he makes sure Grace is stowed away safely before alerting the team, because there is never a dull time when they're all gathered in the same place together, even on their days off. Shots get fired, folks get injured, and a guy is running so fast that they figure he has to be involved, so off goes Kelly (ex-star-football player turned cop turned ex-cop turned security guard turned Hawaii Five-O team member) after him.

By the way, everyone calls him Chin or Chin Ho but I'm calling him Kelly, same reason I call Stevie Stevie: 'cause, y' know, I think we have more of a connection that way. Also? Daniel Dae Kim runs real good. I am all in favour of actors really running when they're supposed to run, instead of faking it. Good show, dude.

So Kelly yells at him to freeze, and amazingly, guy does, which I'm still trying to wrap my head around because for one thing, guy never even looks back so how does he know Kelly has stopped and leveled a gun at his back? Kelly certainly never mentioned that. Also, Kelly, why did you stop and level a gun at his back while he was still running? How could you be sure that he wouldn't just keep on fleeing, and that you might lose valuable time by stopping, especially since you never mentioned anything about holding a gun to him? You see how this could go round and round in circles?

Okay, let's just say that on this island, guys stop running on request, which is very nice of them. Moving on. Guy turns around and Kelly recognizes him as cousin Sid.

Oh hell no, bro.

Sid resumes fleeing, and Kelly, well, he doesn't go after. This cannot bode well.

The team suspect a gang war between the triads and the Samoans, though typically they never bring their tiffs out into a public forum. I don't know if this includes Facebook. But interrupting a football game? A huge faux pas. Heaven help you if you mess with their li'l sister's birthday party. By the way, can I just say that everytime they say "Samoan" in this ep, I keep thinking of Gen X's Mondo? I can't help it.

They find out that a quarterback injured in the shootout is related to one of the gangs, so off Stevie and Danno go to corner him and get a lead. Stevie lets ol' quarterback off with a warning, and Danno's like, what do you mean, we're not cuffing him? Danno, sweetie, considering Stevie's version of a real slap-on-the-wrist is to dangle folks off the edge of buildings, I'd think you'd be happy to see him go easy.

Danno: "He's a kid with a gun, okay?"
Stevie: "What, do you want me to book 'im, Danno?"

HA! Oh, I love you people. Well-played, sirrah!

Chest punch! Keep up the good work.

I love that in the next scene, we jump straight to Stevie chasing down bad guy through marketplace. No need for preliminary "two cops or similarly designated authority figures walk into bar, bartender points out baddie to them, baddie sees the pointing and takes off without even confirming that they're cops or similarly designated authority figures, because maybe they just happened to ask bartender where baddie got such a sweetly tailored dress-shirt, so in essence baddie may have just crashed straight through a glass wall all for nothing" set-up before a chase scene. CSI:NY, I'm looking at you.

It's not the first time he's done it, either, so I vote for more scenes cutting straight to Stevie chasing dudes past banana trees and vendor stands. I'm just saying.

Meanwhile, Kelly -- who's been privately looking for Sid -- finds him and demands the truth. Sid doesn't care, though, 'cause he believes in Kelly's (unjustly) tainted rep, so Kelly asks him nicely to come in to HQ. And by "nicely," I mean the slim Kelly takes down the hefty Sid, proving that size indeed doesn't matter.

At HQ, Stevie and Danno find out that Sid is Kono's and Kelly's cousin. And a cop. It runs in the family.

The HQ interrogation room had the same designer as that of the Saw movies.

Poor Kelly! In this ep, you really see how his tainted rep has affected his life, re: job, family, friends. Sid wants nothing to do with him, and I was actually surprised that Stevie never says a word to Sid in Kelly's defense. At least something cursory, right at the start, to establish that he doesn't invite dirty cops to play in his treehouse. It's his team, after all, and as a leader you should at least make that clear to others, even if you just point it out once. Otherwise folks will wonder what kinda leader invites that kinda kid to his treehouse, and the other kids in the treehouse will wonder what kinda leader doesn't step forward for his team. I'm sure it's nice to have the governor on speed-dial and all, but still.

Anyway, they find out Sid is undercover infiltrating the Samoan gang (Mondo!). Stevie and Danno go off to investigate a gang hangout, Stevie tells Danno that yes, he does have photographical evidence proving he'd been held as a child (Danno: "Photoshop." Hee), Stevie reveals to young viewers through use of iodine why it's important to ace your chemistry class. All in a day's work.

Cut to bonding in car! Yay! I love seeing them bond-not-bond in car. It makes my nonexistent heart blossom in the wind.

Pizza is a really big deal to some people.

I love you two.

Phone rings! No handsfree set. There are a lot of curves in the road. That's all I'm gonna say. Did I mention Danno's been having a hard time with his ex ever since she found out Gracie was at the scene of the shooting? 'Cause he has. He cusses out her attorney on discovering plans to take away visitation rights, and I know he loves his little girl and all, but really, I'd have to stress the advisability of not going all Alec Baldwin on a lawyer where kids and custody are concerned. That's kinda a given.

Okay, we'll grant him a free pass seeing as he did move all the way out to the middle of the ocean so that he can spend time with her. That is dedication. Also, he goes all KISS when mad, tongue and all. Well, aww then.

Lo and behond, they find a gun-supplying baddie to question. They're nowhere near a high-rise, so Stevie can't dangle him off a building, so off they go on a boat so that they can toss baddie into a shark cage. Not even kidding.

Lordy, that is some gorgeous ocean view.

I'm pretty glad that they establish the shark cage is for tourists, otherwise I would say something about Stevie happening to own a boat and happening to keep a shark cage in the middle of the ocean for kicks, and man would Dexter have a field-day out here (think about it: tourists! Nobody would expect them home for weeks!). Anyway, while baddie's in cage freaking, Stevie and Danno bond in a boat. Let's hear it for them bonding in any sort of motorised vehicle.

What did I tell you? Gorgeous ocean view.

Baddie spills that bad Jersey bigwig Salvo is coming into town to help the Samoans (Mondo!) muscle out the triads, bla bla bla, basically impending gang war, don't want it, let's stop it. Undercover time! Let's get Sid to help. Sidenote to say I really like one moment in the scene between Sid and Kono, where Sid reminds her that those HPD cops she's trusting to watch her back? May not watch it so tight thanks to her relationship with Kelly. That's a really scary thought, considering her line of work.

Anyway! Undercover at a casino, where the deal's slated to go down. Kono's cover involves serving drinks in a super-short robe, and I swear, I really thought that when time came to serve drinks, she'd have to slip out of the robe into skivvies. I mean, let's face it, it wouldn't be the first time skivvies are in her contract. Kelly's in the van doing surveillance, because heaven forbid Sid get his knickers in a twist on finding Kelly setting foot within his airspace. Stevie's slick in a nice black-and-white number, at which point I go, "At last!", because I'd been waiting for that scene ever since the first ep's opening credit gave us a teasing glimpse.

Danno: "How come I look like a waiter and you look like James Bond?"

Lookin' sharp, gentlemen.

It was at the exact moment that Stevie slapped Danno's hand that I realised how perfectly they were Big Bro and Li'l Bro. That kind of squabbling relationship, the way Danno gets loud and indignant, the way Stevie has an indulgent look on his face. Man, they are so adorable in those suits.

Salvo arrives to meet Samoan (Mondo!) head honcho, Five-O team spy on the meeting, find out their undercoverness has been detected and that Sid is getting beaten up for it. That is so not cool. Off team goes to the rescue. Punch punch! Bang bang! Ow, that's gotta sting! Salvo has gun to Sid's head. . . .

Rifle: the discerning man's weapon of choice.

. . . and then, not so much anymore.

Daniel Dae Kim does the intense look really well.

Next day! Danno goes over to ex to beg not to take away visitation rights, only it looks like she's changed her mind. Hmm, maybe the governor's car seen departing ex's home just before Danno's arrival had something to do with it? It is right here that I had a Mel Brooks moment:

It's good to be the king.

Or, in this case, it's good to have the governor on speed-dial.

Stevie: "How much of your soul did you just lose by actually appreciating me?"

Team winds down by watching vid of Stevie playing at state championship football. Mention of Stevie's dad, who was Kelly's training officer, and both of whom were at that game. Brief sidenote to say that Kelly really doesn't look that much older than Stevie, so I have trouble calculating the age difference, but whatever. It's a sweet moment here, so we'll let it slide. I liked the looks the team gave each other while talking of Dad McGarrett.


Endnotes! For the most part, this was a serious ep, without a lot of the crack-ups and banter compared to the previous two eps. What did you think of it? I think it naturally had to be a bit grim, seeing as it focused on Kelly and how much he lost due to his tainted rep, and you can't incorporate a lot of joking scenes into something like that. So that was a wise choice. It was also a wise choice to make this third episode instead of the second, like I mentioned earlier on, for the purposes of retaining viewers. Wonder what direction they're going to take the next one. Thoughts?