104: Lanakila

Note: Dialogue in "quotes" are real. Anything else is made-up.
 
Another week, another fresh episode of Hawaii Five-O. And this time, we get to meet Stevie's sister! Toldja it'd be a handy plot-point. Show doesn't open with that, though. Nope, we get a dollop of some friendly prison riot action. Well, okay, it's not so much a "riot" as it is a very civilized clutching-of-the-bars and yelling while the main bad guy makes his escape. Between you and me, I think the rest of the prisoners're a bit mad to be left out of the party.

I have to admit, this opening bit was a mite too violent for my taste. I mean, can we shoot and kill not so early in the program? Never mind that it's supposed to be hardcore prison, I'd like to ease myself into these things.

Cut to Stevie waiting to pick up sis Mary at the airport. Waiting. And waiting. I know how that feels, Stevie. He finally finds her in one of the back rooms at customs/security. Know that one too. Anyway, once again we find out how good it is to have the governor on speed-dial, because all he has to do is say I'm with gov, you can hand over the subject a.k.a. sister to me, and they do. Man, at this rate I have the feeling all he has to do is walk up to an ice-cream stand and mention the governor and he'll get two popsicles and a peanut butter nut bar for free.

So what's sis doing here, since sis skipped dad's funeral and the last time the family saw each other was at mom's funeral years ago? Let's come back to that while we skip over to Danno at the doctor's with a bum knee. Dude! Do we get to see Danno with a pimp cane? Do we?

Stevie arrives at the prison fresh from the airport, sis still in car, and can I say Taryn Manning barks and howls most excellently? Thumb's up. Danno's there too. With cane! Not pimped out yet, but we can wait a bit. As long as he promises some bling. Observant guy that he is, he notices Stevie's "aneurysm face."

Alex O'Loughlin, you matched this so well indeed.

Stevie sends an officer off to babysit his sister, and, I don't know, is that in the officer's job description? Does he get paid overtime for that? I hope you're reimbursing the guy for the food you're asking him to purchase for your sister, Stevie. I know you're speed-dial buds with the gov, but you have to be careful about pulling rank here. I suppose he's still used to being a naval commander.

Speaking of which, this was one thought that abruptly surfaced while I was watching him investigate: how does he feel about this sudden change in careers? Remember, it wasn't that long ago when he returned to bury his father with plans to ship out immediately. He took on the gov job because it helped in investigating his dad's death, but then after that, he kinda . . . got stuck with it. Never planned on it, never even occurred to him before. He was out there busy travelling the world, conducting training exercises, retrieving terrorists, fending off exploding tanks, and now he has to stay home and, y' know, not do any of that. Even if it's for a good cause, it's still a big switch in life choices. Has to affect him somewhat.

Anyway, back to the story! Kelly and Kono give them the scoop on prison escapee Walton Dawkins. Apparently he used nutmeg to poison a fellow inmate as a distraction. Betcha granny never taught you that particular recipe. Dude, I don't know. I'm just gonna skip over that whole part and pretend it never happened.

Skip, skip, skip, Stevie and Danno go to question a dirty guard who aided Dawkins's escape. More proof that Stevie can apparently do anything thanks to gov on speed-dial. Surely there has to be a limit. Oh, by the way, they actually have badges now! Like cops. Except they get carte blanche to (theoretically) toss guards in among the prisoners. Anyway, dirty guard spills the beans. Cut to another scene, but guys? I really hope you arrested him. If you let him off for aiding a prisoner and therefore enabling a few deaths, we're gonna have us some words.

Next scene! Our investigating twosome get answers from another prisoner by . . . playing b-ball with him?

And when we settle turf disputes? We whip out the domino set.

Mr Prisoner, sir, you really need to work on your bargaining skills. I know there's no chance of cutting short your sentence, but dude, at least ask for some extra nicotine patches. Maybe extra mayo with your meals. A cranberry chicken sandwich. Something. All I'm sayin'.

I'm glad the writers chose to show that Stevie's not so good with the hoop and baskets. They could've gone the ugh path of protagonist-can-do-everything (Hercules: The Legendary Journey, I'm looking at you), but they didn't, at least not until Danno gives Stevie a few tips. And by "a few tips," I mean play rough. They win, they get info on Dawkins, bla bla bla, apparently he was set off after seeing a woman on TV win a trip to Hawaii with her significant other, bla bla bla, all right then.

Meanwhile, Kono and Kelly are investigating, and hey, look, Kono introduces themselves for the first time as "Five-O"! Makes sense -- she'd been wanting a team name since the end of ep 1, and evidently adopted this one after Stevie shared its sentimental significance at the end of ep 3. I still find it weird for them to use it in any official capacity, though, if only because it would've been tricky for Stevie to run it by the governor for approval. I'm sure she would've preferred something that sounded more bad-ass. Like, Special Tactical And Retrieval Experts (S.T.A.R.E.).

Or, y' know, somethin'. Hush now.

They trace Dawkins's path into a men's public restroom, and can I say that I really don't get why Kono would even hesitate about entering the place? I mean, she's fresh out of cop school, not grade school. I don't know if she's an only child, but she has plenty of male cousins, and is in a male-dominated field, and if she has brothers like I do, she wouldn't have qualms about going into the gents' when needs call for it. Let's just skip over that part, skip skip skip into that tidy ol' restroom with very clean floors.

Write what you want on the walls, but Hades help you if you smudge them floors.

Apparently Dawkins has gone blond thanks to lemonade and mayo. No, seriously. At least the team manages to find out the TV woman & man's hotel and head on over, 'cept they get there too late. The woman's down and the guy missing. Turns out it was the guy that Dawkins was after. Well, damn.

Back they go to HQ. Oh, by the way? Remember that shiny, shiny table at HQ? Turns out it's a touchscreen. No wonder they keep it spotless. I wonder if they ever spend time just swishing images back and forth on that thing. I know I would. Certainly beats computer solitaire, which is so 1990s.

Danno reminds Stevie that he still has a sister in police custody. Whoops! The siblings differ in how they remember their dad, but unite in teasing Danno's tie and get-up. Ha, sweet.

Stevie enlists the help of an old friend -- well, make that new friend since they only just met a couple of weeks ago -- to babysit Mary. Stevie, he's not so good with handling people. He's got the help of a friendly native Hawaiian, and instead of asking him to show her around the island, check out all the things that have popped up since she was last there several years ago, he asks the guy to sit there and make sure she doesn't leave the room. While it's a nice sunny day outside in the middle of Hawaii.

Stevie, honey, you see why she doesn't visit you that often?

I'm just going to quickly cut to Kono so that I can point out her quote: "When I badged him, he tried to rabbit." Duly noted.

Stevie and Danno bonding time! Except not in a moving vehicle! Man, that so throws me off my game.

Stevie: "I like pancakes."
Danno: "You do?"
Stevie: "Yeah."
Danno: "You seem like a napalm-in-the-morning kinda guy."
Stevie: "Well, that too."

Turns out Dawkins used to rob banks with the kidnapped guy, so now he feels entitled to the goods. Dawkins gets money, sees Five-O team arrive, shoots kidnapped guy, bla bla bla, off he vrooms. No traffic cam on road, bla bla bla, lose sight of him.

But wait, Stevie gets his navy pal to help out! Ha! Sure is good to be you, huh, Stevie?

Daaaaaaamn straight.

Car pursuit turns into copter pursuit. Lots of lovely scenery. I tell you, these guys are having the time of their lives.

Copter goes down! I'm having a Jurassic Park 3 flashback. Moving on! Stevie and Kelly go pursuing waist-deep in jungle with guns a-blazing. Predator flashback. Moving on! Did I mention bad guy has a family hostage? 'Cause he does. Also, Stevie gives us a brief lesson in birds and nature and jungle tracking, but don't worry, I'm thinking Sir David Attenborough will still keep his job. The whole people skill thing, y' know.

Shoot shoot! Bang bang! Rescue hostages! Bad guy, not so much! Down he falls. Well, that's a nice memory to take back from that family vacation.

Speaking of family, hey, remember that sis you had? There you go! Mary managed to elude her babysitter, but that's okay, Stevie knows where to find her. At dad's gravesite. He brings lunch. Aww. They have that family picnic after all.

And that's this ep. What did you think of it? I thought it had more than a dollop of mish-mash going on there, so I'm torn, but it did have the pancakes-and-napalm exchange to help it out. Thoughts?